Oh yeah? Well because of your guilt inducing criticism, I've got one more thing to be grateful for:  A pain in my butt.

Seriously, how often have you felt guilty because you think you should be grateful for what you've got but you can't? And then, because you're not grateful enough (if at all) don't you feel more guilty and miserable?

So here's why I deliberately choose to feel the joys of misery instead of the supposed joys of being grateful: Misery is dependable. Misery is a true friend. Always the same. No surprises. Misery is familiar territory and, best of all, it's easy. I don't know about you but my life is so busy that I can't be bothered to take the time to learn how to be happy (or grateful or whatever…).

Besides, what happens if I try to be happy and then my happiness fades? What if I allow myself to feel happy and then "Bang!" something bad happens? Right. I feel worse because I allowed myself to feel happy.

In fact, I know bad things will happen if I try to be happy because I am offending the misery gods by daring to feel happy. When you do that, they always send 'bad things' to happen, don't they?

You know why else I like to be miserable? It protects me from feeling bad. I know this sounds funny but give me a minute. Even though I know a deeply considered life would truly give me safety and solace in an uncertain world, I can't be bothered because then I would lose my friends (those miserable buggers…).

Hey, misery doesn't just love company, it demands it.

Anyway, misery makes me feel good because it takes very little thought, it's easy and it's familiar. My motto is "Change is bad." Some people say: "Happiness is not a destination--it's a journey." Well, I say if you get on the road to happiness you'll get hit by a car driven by Fate (see 'misery gods offended' above).

Did you know that I have actually been hit twice by cars while walking? Actually, to tell you the truth, I've had 16 major medical incidents. Hit by cars, hit while in cars, almost lost an eye, broken ribs, split my forehead open (at age 6), knee surgery and on and on. My mother used to say to me: "Devin, you're an accident looking for a place to happen."

I'd say that life has given me lots of reasons why I should stay miserable. So, I would rather sit and count my miseries rather than count my blessings. You know why? What if I 'get greedy' by daring to feel good and then I lose a blessing?

What then? I don't know how to handle it because I've had so much loss in my life already. (See how easy and satisfying it is to completely ignore everything except what makes one feel bad? Yippee! Being miserable makes me feel great!)

Oh sure, some people say that in this world pain is inevitable and that mature people have the capacity to feel the entire range of human emotions and that if you block off pain you have also blocked off the ability to feel happy and live life. To those people I say: "Get A Life!"

Why on earth should I learn how to 'feel life'? That's hard work and painful. Nope. I like the song that says: "I have become comfortably numb."

You know why life-numbing misery is good? Because when I read about things like some crazy getting pissed off at his girlfriend and shooting innocent people in a mall, I don't have to make the effort to emotionally and cognitively come to terms with that kind of horrific reality.

Nope. I'd rather that my damaged, suppressed and unresolved feelings get redirected at my spouse or some driver or co-worker.

You see, in order for me to come to terms with how someone could be so ruthlessly thoughtless, I have to examine my place in the Universe.  Wow…no one showed me how to find my place in the world. And that pisses me off by the way. That's going to be the subject of another article.

Anyway, for me to emotionally come to terms with the previously mentioned threat to my safety that was slammed in my face and heart by the morning news (what is new about it anyway?), I would have to do some thinking.

As Henry Ford once said: "Thinking is hard work, which is why so few people do it."

I'd have to think about big questions like: "In an unstable world, how can I feel truly stable inside?"   Do you know that if I had a child this question would be really, really important to answer?

After all, we teach by example and if I don't live a good answer to Life's Important Questions, then my kid would probably find their answer in a bottle or pill. Fine. They're better off miserable anyway.

Anyway, I don't want to think about how to have a deep, rich and meaningful life because it would take so much hard work.  I once thought that maybe being miserable was actually much more work than being happy but then I found someone to be angry at so I stopped that stupid train of thought.

You know what else Henry Ford is said to have said? "Many people miss opportunity because it comes disguised in work overalls."  Henry Ford is an idiot. That's what a (miserable) friend of mine said who happens to work for Ford.  I think he gets $8.00 an hour to clean new cars or something.

Anyway…I just want Life to give me stuff for free. I want good things to fall into my lap. What's wrong with that attitude? I live in America, Land of The Free for God's sake! I tell you, it's not fair that I have to work at being happy. I'm sure that my parents are somehow to blame for this.

Why should I be grateful for what I've got when I don't have what I want?  You know what helps me to stay good and miserable? When I tell myself: "I'll be happy when…" That virtually guarantees that I'll never be happy! Hot diggity.

And, the best part of this (besides being miserable) is that it's not my fault that I'm not happy! You see, if I really believe in the "I'll be happy when…" hypnotic suggestion, then what I'm really believing in is that someone else has to do something in order for me to be happy! Ha!

I forget who it is that said it but, I once read this quote: "Happiness is damn difficult to find inside oneself and impossible to find outside of oneself."

Exactly my point! Since it's so hard to find, why bother looking? I'd rather revel in resentment. It feels so self-righteously good to fault others for my life being a pile of crap.

And that brings me back to my original point: Being grateful for what I have in life is so much work because it means I have to give up things like resentment, blame and my dependable friend, misery.

And this brings me to why Thanksgiving Sucks And Should Be Eliminated. Two reasons: (1) On Thanksgiving, millions of Americans are stuffed with an extra helping of guilt because it's a day that we're supposed to be feeling thankful. A national guilt trip is what it is.

Look around you--how many people are even dimly aware, never mind grateful that they live in the richest, most opportunity abundant country in the world? Almost none. It seems like the more a person gets, the more unhappy they are. Obviously they love being miserable because it is so much easier than sincerely investigating how to enjoy our brief life.

My misery cup joyfully overflows when I think of all those people who will wait until it's too late to appreciate the amazing cornucopia that Life has given us.

And this brings me to the second reason why Thanksgiving Sucks And Should Be Eliminated:  It gets in the way of Christmas. 

Look, why should I be reminded by a national holiday to be thankful for what I have before Christmas? I haven't gotten anything yet! Maybe Thanksgiving should be moved to the middle of January or something.

Of course, moving Thanksgiving to after Christmas might not do any good anyway because I'm not likely to be able to be thankful for what I get at Christmas so I say we should just eliminate Thanksgiving altogether.

And, if we do eliminate Thanksgiving, look at all the violence that would be eliminated as well. Violence statistics would drop dramatically because there wouldn't be any 'day after Thanksgiving' shoppers celebrating The Joys of (consumer) Misery by engaging in the traditional Post-Thanksgiving Consumer Feeding Frenzy.

This Emotional Fast-Food, Pavlovian Push-Button Response to the multi-million dollar, corporate advertising suggestion that we engage in Retail Therapy makes sense to me.

Why on earth would I want to take the day following Thanksgiving and actually still be thankful? To do so would mean that I would have to take stock of my life and open my soul to those emotions that make a life truly worth living, celebrating and being thankful for.

Screw that. I absolutely prefer the frantic passion of Black Friday anger and nihilism to any healthy emotions that might supposedly be out there. At least I can count on my credit card!

So this brings me to an overall suggestion that I think we should all take to heart: Let's make the holidays a source of stress, misery (yes!) and loneliness!! I think that's a much better idea than letting the holidays remind us to appreciate our precious belongings however small they may be.

I mean, what sense does it make to learn how to appreciate the smallest of things in our lives so that when the big things happen they are truly incredible? 

Personally, I prefer to focus on the tiniest little things that suck in my life. Doing so makes my days incredibly miserable and, like I've been saying, until someone else comes along with some thing to make me happy, that's the best I can do.

Someone once told me that happiness is much like a house in that it is built on a foundation piece by intentional, thought-out, designed piece.

Also, when you really look at a concrete foundation, it is actually composed of tiny little bits of sand.   My idiot friend who appeared to be happy (just wait 'til the misery gods get him!) told me that happiness or misery is built on a foundation of small, daily thoughts and intentions.

I figured that happiness couldn't be that simple so I ignored his advice.  Besides, if I were to change the small things then, that might change the big things and, like I said before, I am unwilling to give up complaining, resentment and blame.

Hopefully this article has helped you to appreciate the joys of misery. And, I hope you can see why actually being thankful for something, anything on Thanksgiving or in general is just dangerous, delusional thinking.

Authored by C. Devin Hastings and Wah Me.

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY:

C. Devin Hastings is a miserable S.O.B. who in spite of his best intentions has discovered how to help people change their lives for the better by reducing or even eliminating resentment.

According to Devin, resentment is a primary cause for misery. He also says that: "Resentment is a major source of holiday unhappiness as well as a super-fuel for addictions. "

Devin also said it was very important to note that: "Resentment is a primary cause of low self-esteem, self-sabotage and contributes to obesity."

He continued by saying: "Look, if you feel like you are stuck in emotional quicksand and can’t seem to get ahead in your life, then you may be a person trapped by resentment."

If you want to read an interesting article by Devin on releasing resentment, then click here to learn how to release resentment.

Or, if you want, Devin has a terrific, one-hour audio program that really will help you. It's titled: Releasing Resentment--Begin Taking Back Your Life Now! Click here to learn more.

To learn more about Devin click here.  Or to discover more life enhancing, free information, please visit:

www.Weight-Loss-Answers.com

www.Depression-Hypnosis.com

www.miacs.net (school website)